January 20th, 1999

“It was back at the Liss Ard Festival and I was sneaking around the mansion in hopes of finding him, but did not. I could not get caught, either. I circuited and left by a rutted road way, a small gravel path. This was beside the mansion’s outer stone wall. All of a sudden a gate opened (it was the same, the following morning), and Cave walked out in a cloak and hood with an entire entourage of staff. I did not recognize him until he/they had passed me, and then it was too late. I would be accosted and stopped by the entourage. They were gone. I broke down in devastation. I missed him! How could You bring me here, and do this to me?

I sunk into a childish rage and began picking and throwing stones, a real tantrum. I passed through a field full of children, and because I’d begun throwing stones, the whole field of children began throwing stones at each other. This was more often miss and there were no apparent injuries, but they were beaning each other pretty good as well. Some children dropped like stones. My anger was heedless until I inadvertently felled a child too. At this I stopped myself and picked up two large stones to keep them away from the children. The children’s nursery teachers came outside wondering what had gained possession of their children. But they took no notice of a passing adult; that would never occur to them, even though I was carrying the large stones in my hands. So I passed un-marked, the regressive troublemaker, leaving the wake of a miniature war. Crossing the moorland I arrive at the gate that severs the sprawling property from the open wilds. It marks my final departure.

Cave is standing there on the other side, waiting. (And of course, all is known by the fact that he has turned back, and is waiting.) Still I say, “You waited for me. Why?”

He did not answer as he opened the gate, and I persisted in the question. As we joined in our walk his rejoinder was a kiss, and once again.”