The Parabolic Hive

February 24th, 1999 - This dream was inside a giant parabolic hive shaped enclosure that was many stories high. Each level on the inside was an isle along the inner frame of the hive, and all these levels were filled with pedestrians, people walking around. I was among them, and in my mind there hearkened a great spiritual conjunction. I had already been through this conjunction and knew its requisite terminus's. I had come through it alive and well. I knew it was coming for everyone else. On the edge of my consciousness there lingered an edge of awareness of what might have become of me in that enlightenment, how I could have been trapped, forever, in a deadened consciousness, but I had no fear of that within myself, and so was unaware of it. I knew what was coming signified a blissful awakening, based on inner awareness. I felt the conjunction’s pending arrival, knew my consciousness had been its construct, that I bore it within. I uplifted my hands at its coming with joy at its approach. As I stood, near the middle of the hive in this manner facing inwards, the consciousness dawned and I felt the arrival into bliss of many people who were now born into this awareness. We were one people, and for them you could see the same sense of joy writ plainly on all their faces. They had been awakened. Then a young man passed me with a vacant look on his face that was devoid of emotion, happiness, and looked permanently inwards. I knew then that for some the injunction had left them in a radically different place, and that this was based on their own self-perception and character in the face of the conjunction. Whereas some had been opened into joy, others had been trapped, forever. This result accesses my own deepest fear. I wonder if what I have undergone, until now, is a simulation for something much larger, when the lights go on. I have felt great fear of this requisite result; I have personally stared down the barrel, and am not sure I could pass again twice. I could not flick the switch if I thought that was going to happen to people. In the dream I did not know, but I had been close enough to recognize the outcome.