the last question

This was her last lingering debate in Ireland: seeing as it was really about the redemption and this was the point of proof that made it or broke it, why wasn’t she contacting, say, The Jesus and Mary Chain instead? Did she have the wrong targets entirely in mind? She decided that seeking verification in those channels might be a fundamental mistake. The redemption had been established on the basis of absolute faith, and was still modified by it. To seek verification would not be existing in faith. If verifying its reality was the motivator, then to seek verification would not be existing in faith, and presented a serious problem. What if they simply couldn’t accept she existed? Would their verdict on this really be acceptable? The answer could be “no” simply as a form of spite. What would she be risking on the question when in fact they weren’t equipped, in comparison to herself, to ascertain its reality when she was the observer absorbing everything who had deliberately orchestrated it in the first place? Between the effector and the affected, who would know better? The act of asking opened a window whereby they could make, or break, its reality. To even accept their verdict had this capacity was ultimately a concession and a risk that wasn’t fair to the collective awareness, the all. If their verdict “made” it, it would not have been established in faith. If it “broke” it, that could just imply she had a better grasp on what was really happening. And if not, well then, “Boom”.

Was it right to grant them the power to make or break a dynamic that was already potentially affecting a lot of other people in the universal by completely transforming them for the better, one that had caused them to declare themselves as a collective, an eternal awareness? Hell no. The prospect couldn’t even be taken seriously. On this basis the consideration of asking them became totally redundant.

In the present she was dealing in terms of the marriage pattern; under the circumstance it was an acceptable risk, and in terms of its existing reciprocity being inherently what defined it, you simply could not establish any connect existed without asking. The redemptive pattern, however, was the opposite, and inviolate. She was prepared to e-mail them about it, but decided it was redundant to seek to approach any one on it, as she’d attempted with Bono and Billy. She simply had no right to give them that window. She decided that the only way to deal with the faith issue was if one took the full risk of declaration on your own, and let the chips fall yea or nay. This is where the paradigm shift arose, when she finally began speculating that there may be a book. If she tabled it, without any basis of tangible affirmation beforehand, simply based on what she had, she would have made the final act of complete faith. She might make a complete fool of herself, and she could be wrong, but she would not have collapsed it at any point by compromising faith. It would serve the universal –the All, and serve the redemption, to reveal all by writing a book. It was in this frame of mind she returned home.