Her song for the moment as she worked on the yard with the ipod she’d catalogued was Morrissey’s “I Have Forgiven Jesus”. (This was the man responsible for “I Know It’s Gonna Happen Someday” (from which she took great succour, finding it since Bowie covered it), “Glamorous Glue” and “The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get”. Her listening when she began finding a way out of that stifling house on stroller forays was Thom Yorke’s The Eraser (07/11/06). She knew he was right (“Do yourself a favour and pack your bags, buy a ticket and get on the train, this is f**ed up, f***ed up”, -“This your blind spot, blind spot, it should be obvious, but it's not” -“Black Swan”). But she didn’t know how she was going to leave; it was a little more complicated than buying a ticket. She couldn’t leave the country with her child and had nowhere to go.
For the portent of bitumen (given the import of how its existence in the home soil would alter the landscape of her nation in the exact framework of public and natural abuse and override that had transpired with the “war in the woods”, but on a national rather than provincial scale, to the point of a result that was beyond recognition or identity), he scored extra. For the likely import of “black swan events” he scored even more. It was an extremely good model for how all had developed in hindsight since her first encounter with Bono, which only possessed retrospective predictability, which now had such a strong backstory she’d been able to surface with the predictive “Watch. It will Bend.” This really made her advent an existing Black Swan impossibility that had since demonstratively existed, and it so happened Thom Yorke and Radiohead had been inadvertent participants in that demonstration. To sing of each possessing the same potential impact upon one another, aka, that in each resided the potential impact to dismantle the whole system of thought generated since first encounter by just tipping one conclusion at any one intersect or encounter (which had already just resulted, in terms of the episode with Billy, in the dislodging of her fundamental postulate in terms of all she had believed of Machina), there had already been the observation of a single black swan in the negative context (and with Bono, the encounter may have occurred in a context that might prospectively turn out to be positive, plus being the gamble she’d explained she’d taken with Bono in approaching Bono in the first place, in Courier #1). Hence the invocation of the analogy, and each potentially existing as one to the other (which could be either positive or negative in impact), was more than dead on; it was perfect, actually beyond perfect when all was taken into account in terms of who she’d addressed with the warning (because she knew of the danger if not by a theoretical model with a moniker), telling Billy in Courier #2.
What made this especially interesting is that Billy after her advent had literally come back in the form Zwan, basically “Zero” and “Swan” combined, which effectively made him the Black Swan. Moreover having chosen that moniker (with the requisite attitude), he wrote “Ride a Black Swan” which contextualized the encounter between him and a feminine object as lover arriving at the confluence of destiny configured with a white horse (it’ll figure later), and was a statement of demand to ultimately fulfill his faith, establish an existing repository in God, wherein it was also of correct import to attempt to “‘avoid being the turkey’ by identifying the areas of vulnerability in order to ‘turn the Black Swans white’”.
The song she found deep encouragement and identity in was “Atoms for Peace”, especially since she greatly preferred and valued friendship and platonic first meetings over any potential “lover” encounters at this point. That was the acknowledgment of love in the universal awareness, right there, with a word-play on the original analogy of the worm in the ear from “Staring at the Sun” turning into loss and rescue down a wormhole (a hypothetical shortcut through space-time thought to exist in potentially four (or more) dimensions, especial aptitude there (Wikipedia). The first type of wormhole solution discovered was that of the black hole, which shot straight back to Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun”, a little too perfect.) Then there was “Skip Divided”, where obtaining her number and location at least appeared to matter to someone…she’d handed an address and number off to two people; it hadn’t mattered to either of them (this included the one who’d used the analogy of being a dog with her as object in two places, one carnal, the other dual, invoking the more spiritual angle). Bono had employed the same dog analogy for unrequited love of sorts in the context of existing soul mates in “A Man and A Woman”, as well as employing it in a religious context in “Crumbs from Your Table”. Thom’s album was her sole respite in what steadily became domestic hell that reached the threshold of unlawful confinement.