As alluded in “Your Blue Room”, even forsaken (as the forsaker) she was “never alone”; the year of the fall was accompanied by Terence Trent D’Arby’s (now Sananda Maitreya) “Vibrator” (06/01/95) -“the birds of prey have swallowed the bread crumbs you left behind, find your way back from the soul mines”, “beautiful child of God and man, there’s a messiah inside of you”, concluding with “just know that I need you”, accompanied by “Resurrection”. Plus “Surrender”, expressing the shift through conviction as a sinner and repentance in the frame of the helplessness of the hopelessly damned, it is via total surrender one experiences Grace, and the exquisite joy this brings. The song couples this however with the revolutionary statement “I am a liquid dancing firelight, I don’t believe in the existence of sin, but I believe in me and I believe in you, and that’s enough to believe in”. –In her context that just might be true (she was far too afraid of it when she heard it from Terence and viewed it as the blasphemy she’d always reject), but could be possible in the context of entry by Christ. It was a state of total surrender she existed in when she heard it; she knew exactly what she was going through enough to identify it full well. This song follows with the demand showing this song addressed a woman (the “you and me”), -and that the woman had no choice but to prove herself to him (by this surrender having been realized in herself), a future expectation, (the lyric sounds like, “you’ve gotta prove yourself above to me, girl you’ve got no choice, baby”). Now the exquisite aspect of this, was whether it would become a transcendent truth in the sense that the reason “I believe in me as I believe in you, and that is enough to believe in” would actually true because they’d experienced this redemption in common and simultaneously, meaning it was a transcendent experience of the Christ, which indeed, would be absolutely all you would need to believe in, because experiencing it in common would mean the advent of Grace in a way that was not subjective and irrefutable, i.e., Christ’s veracity established as the essence of his Divine Purpose, in both the woman and the man at the same time.
The album also included “If You Go Before Me”, and his recurring dream; interesting that he alludes to this all transpiring in a dream. Notice the gun has come up metaphysically in the feedback loop; here she’s the gun with him in her sight. The car they were in hasn’t gotten real far. The song starts with a car crash or break down of some sort, then shifts onto her being the gun with him in her sight as a deer (the impact of her severance). -Bono’s allusion is reactive, but is also simultaneously the foreshadowing (in what Bono’d predicted he’d do) and reflection of what had already happened captured in “If You Go Before Me” and what she felt she’d just done in terms of turning the potential gun she saw, on herself. Now that you know the absolute epic grand mal oedipal levels to this and what lay captured in this period (though this played out between daughter/father, doubling in on itself instead in a metaphysical double shooting between Bono and herself), you’ll see the dimension she felt in this simple verse:
One day in the year a bullet screamed
And ripped straight through you
And I saw the sun begin to bleed
Above a flood of tears and sirens (-coinciding with Kyra’s vision)
Her father’s death threat to her would really turn out to have ramifications for him, but one hell of a fall out in the process; right now she was already inside her own death in her own mind. The “Recurring Dream” song shifts onto referencing the release of the seven veils (after she’d just encountered “Salomé”), and then expresses her present loneliness in the present loss, a thoughtful reprimand to her own tunnel captured in the admonishment:
In this recurring dream
You said you were lonely
I said everyone's lonely
And not just you