New Year's Day, 2000

“I dreamed tonight about finding a job, something landed in my lap and it was a piece of cake; it involved being on a sports team and would provide room and board. In other words it utilized activities from my youth.

In this there was a complete break, the theme changed and I stood face to face with Cave. Actually I was sitting at first, and he stood. To signify the conjunction, there had been a week long holiday that bestowed its significance underlying like bedrock. Something to do with women’s liberation or equality week; there was an added connotation that the meeting had a basis in equality and love.

And facing him for the first time I said, “I need you to make love to me.” There was a brief span where he measured my request, what lay behind the words. Then he put his hands on my thighs and pressed me down. And I remembered this desire so very well. It had been there, only in my dreams. Nothing compared to it.

There was no accompanying motion, what was emoted took place between two standing, facing figures. Cave became other people, he transformed into two other men, inside his body he was different people.” There were two other men. While in the dream I recited and recalled the changing figures. All I could remember upon awakening was that they were ones I knew (in the dream at least) and that they weren’t who I’d have expected (neither Bono nor Billy; they were not real people I was aware of in the real world, but recognized in the dream). The encounter repeated itself twice during the night’s dreams, the second time it wasn’t Cave at all (but did shift between three men), the third time it was, and with both times there was no prelude whatsoever to the encounter. The third and last time the figure began as Cave, changed, and reverted to being Cave again. The third conjunction purely signified love."

The following night she dreamed of Corgan, of slipping into a radio interview to meet him, which only happened thanks to someone who provided her with a press pass and had some sort of cocaine connection.