i had one of 'those' dreams
4/22/09 08:12 am
neh, not you.
this guy was....Japanese.
(oh he was very handsome too)
it was one of those things that mega blow outs put in perspicuous hindsight. like mega. after all what are you supposed to deduce from two chance encounters in the produce section, I ask you? (apparently a lot)
the second time the tension is quite palpable and we almost turn and collide (yes he can pick produce)
nothing comes of this but as the dream develops it gets quite strange and then I am waitressing and he's at a table, and there's the cultural difference he has with everyone else but we have an understanding (i know about the tea he drinks) -but something is wrong with him, his appearance is changing drastically. at the same time we are both aware of each other and...know we should have capitalized on our encounters to begin with and he knows this but...it's too late...
there is some sort of curious infection. and if it combines with mine drastic things will happen. this is even more mysterious after waking so forget it it's not like I can explain. and the context has shifted drastically and we are on a ship...and like a pirate he is trying to lure the vessel to his home shores. somehow everyone will die. and he is under the sway of...well it's like he's being taking over by an exotic animal and may become a sort of werewolf...(yea if were's had something in common with....very exotic little breeds crossed with little dragons in the Eastern tradition(!)) -he has no conscience about it; being prey to the transformation, he has become a predator himself...
but there's something brutally terrifying in allowing any sort of potential merger to take place now (which he now wants) -as in any offspring we have will be subject to the infection/transformation and could be quite terrifying beings.
since we are sort of in a kidnapped state with no escape and I am nearly the only one left I willfully commit suicide to prevent our potential union from ever happening...the best I can say is I invert myself and it's like I willfully drown and deliberately lose consciousness...make myself so I can never be reached...
only I don't die it turns out.
and I don't know what has happened to me or what I am but I'm still conscious...and I don't find out until....he goes off and has children with another woman (Italian)...and I'm behind a glass suspended but the children come up to the glass and they're just sitting around looking up in fascination. it turns out I'm a conscious star. I'm the first person to have ever made the transformation. the children are quite fascinated but they do not know why -but their father does, and we discover we can think to each other now and are quite conscious of the other, which at the moment is overwhelming regret. as my transformation is irreversible and there is no possibility of ever being together ever. it is one of those great tragedies... 'if only's'....
