March 19, 2022
Dear Jack,
It seems I may owe you an update. I’m saying this because you appear to have been influenced by my writing as of late. I’m awaiting Entering Heaven Alive with strong anticipation. This is the first time I’ve felt that way on both counts, meaning I feel that way because it appears you might be incorporating elements based what I told you (and out of my iBook), but we’re also dealing with the third wave, which would be happening all on its own inspirationally. (The title is what Fall 2020 really felt like for me.)
In case of an encounter being just as brief as the last, this is the woman who dropped her autobiography on you as an iBook/eBook (The Raydiant Labyrinth) April 2019 at the 10-year anniversary concert for Third Man Records in Nashville. I labelled two flash drives “red pill” and “blue pill”, one for Third Man Books; -the blue flash drive was for you (you sure like the color). I hope all’s well (it looks it, as well as can be having your hair on fire in terms of activity/ambition and having no life, though of course that’s a trope). Congratulations! I did not know when I wrote and delivered the letter to you in 2019, so I apologise.
The opening letter was U2/Bono with a bit of Bowie and Billy thrown in, the eclipse, and a diversion into railroads/politics. (You came off lighter than most, though Bono’s opening letter when I dropped the half draft of the book on him in 2011 also clicked in at eighteen pages.) I want to see if I can finish the bulk of this letter before April 1st, which will arrive at an understanding in what follows. (I'm trying to beat release dates, including yours.) I apologize in advance for being self-explanatory, which comes off as totally self-absorbed. (The last letter was unnecessarily long; -when I reread it after a long abstention I felt appalled, -mainly it’s the problem of not being able to communicate in conversation as a life trait due to circumstance.) So let me tell you what I’m doing with it here, since it is not exhibitionist in the narcissistic sense. I’m providing a full depiction that allows full judgment of what you are dealing with, apologize in advance for the length, and promise this letter much smaller.
The substantiating hyperlinks mean this is actually way bigger but never mind, they're optional. It includes my attempt at a public experiment with the existing musical feedback loop with me as object (the subject's even worse).
2020 was an interesting year, an awakening and a reckoning. The narrative was my real experience; -it could be titled “What happened to me last summer”, except it was the summer before last. I’m very clear it all transpired exclusively in my perception or inside my head, (meaning I had extrasensory perception of some aspects, like the invisible being appearing at the foot of my bed who I could fully sense but not see; (-he was only visible in a manner of speaking once he appeared inside my mind). This can all be easily dismissed as (not even) hallucinatory.
The trigger that re-awakened me was Nick Cave’s Ghosteen, October 2019. (In interpreting the album, I evaded what “Sun Forest” actually meant; I think it was identifying indirectly Who the “male side” Ghosteen really was. A dancing ghosteen (female) and a speaking one (male).) There was nothing I could do to evade what happened hearing the album. It was like being resurrected involuntarily. I reacted initially by responding to Nick on Red Hand Files, using the question field to ask him why there was so much correspondence between his album and my pre-published book? (His letter was over thirty pages. I owe him an update.)
The real awakening happened in June 2020, because it took two people happening not one. (-Which was meant to tell me something, meaning if cause and effect occur separately, who/what are you dealing with setting all that up?) That summer I “told” Nick, “I never dealt with the fourth”, I am going to have to write to the fourth. Meaning that in 1999/2000 I contacted Nick Cave, Bono, and Billy Corgan with hand-to-hand letters (Billy almost, he got one as closure in 2005). I never reached out to Martin Gore, and given what happened summer 2020 happened “with” him (even though we’ve never met), now was the time. (Martin’s letter was over 160 pages long.) It obliged me to explain everything up to the present from the point where the book ended, 2007. Everything I said I’d be willing to talk to you about but not put to you in print, his position in all this made me put it to him in print, (and far too rapidly, it ended with a rambling whack of raw notes). I mailed it December 2020. I archived it online the same day because I knew that the subsequent inspirational music feedback loop was going to start with Nick Cave’s penning of L.I.T.A.N.I.E.S., and I posted the letter online to Nick Cave for this reason, meaning it was possible to successfully intercept the feedback loop in real time with him and this pending album, -and fair enough too, as this had happened between both of them happening to me. The rapidity was forced by the fact that the mailing had to beat the release. (I managed to make it same day.)
In February 2021 Nick Cave released CARNAGE, which was like doubling the potential impact of the feedback loop interception I'd attempted, in the sense that either Nick had been in the self-same inspirational mindset, and didn’t leave that tact with disclosure, but doubly reinforced it by reiteration, or he had intentionally worked off what was revealed in the letter itself, or maybe a combination of the two. (Or maybe it all happened inspirationally with him still not knowing anything, if he didn't read anything. Impossible to discern, but the impact of this is happening, given it announces the "Hand of God" is still about as big.) That it could well have been intentional was signified by the fact that Nick Cave announced the tangibles for CARNAGE (vinyl/CD) would come out three months later on my birthday (probable supply chain issues delayed it to June, and yes, my birthday was in the letter because Billy etc.). After that I set about trying to edit down and translate the letter into a public format as a real time experiment with the musical inspirational feedback loop, which I eventually did here. This has given you four entries to date. Here is the complete list of entries (in order of release) attempting to demonstrate my proposal is really happening (so far):
Tears for Fears, “The Tipping Point”, video
Coldplay, Music of the Spheres, album
Jack White, “Taking Me Back”, first single release
U2, “Your Song Saved My Life”, Sing 2 Soundtrack
Johnny Marr, Fever Dreams Part 1-2, EP
Damon Albarn, The Nearer the Fountain, More Pure the Stream Flows, album
Sting, “Rushing Water”, first single release
Johnny Marr, Fever Dreams Part 3-4, EP
Jack White, “Love is Selfish” video, David Gahan, “Dark End of the Street” video
Eddie Vedder, “Rose of Jericho” and U2, “A Celebration”
Tears for Fears “End of Night” update
Jack White, “Queen of the Bees”
Arcade Fire, “Lightning I, II”
Red Hot Chili Peppers, Unlimited Love
Thom Yorke, “5.17” & The Smile (Pending May 13th additions as well, probably an additional page but we'll see)
Jack White, Fear of the Dawn (Pending)
Spiritualized, Everything Was Beautiful (Pending)
Arcade Fire, WE (Pending May 6th)
Florence & the Machine, Dance Fever (possibly, also May 13th, you've got my substack url, which is where I post all new release announcements (eventually)
Basically an invisible exercise all told. (Hot tip, you watch this page, the hyperlinks will appear (or disappear as the case may be). These html letter pages are for adding hyperlinks for the individual recipients of the public experiment.) Back to your update:
In Summer 2020 I noticed U2 had posted a text line on their Twitter account (along with everybody else). I checked whether it was active and waited to see its use. It had none for over a year. I would text it from time to time to see if it was still active (it is), and finally in October 2021 I used it to try and send Bono the complete iBook for the first time. (Somewhere in this interim they removed the number from their profile, but it is still active.) With the same communication I let Bono in on the public experiment, and Martin’s letter. I don’t know if this was a completely pointless effort (obviously). I suppose the only way I’ll know is if some signifiers end up getting produced musically, and it was a very long time before I felt certain about that the first time.
Next, I dropped the same package on Jordan Peterson when he was in my neck of the woods February 2nd at the Mahaffey Theater. (It was sensible, -not sensible given the explosion of his audience, but in every other respect. If I had to bypass Bono again because he continues to maintain it as a secret, then I needed to show that what was happening was observable at the level of a behavioral psychologist, and I needed that expertise to have the Biblical orientation of Jordan Peterson to have the analysis even register, let alone resonate.) I also flash drive dropped the Cult at the same location and sent a (likely pointless) hyperlink to Coldplay.
If Bono’s reacting, it is the same as ever. Everyone has reacted the same as Bono (which doesn’t help me), meaning if they are reacting, the same limbo of “if”, though of course Nick Cave’s delayed drop of the vinyl/CD my birthday was a little sus (still doesn't help). David Gahan’s cover album can be analyzed from end to end in terms of what was in Martin Gore’s letter, including this part. You stand alone in that there is enough detailing in what you’re releasing at present that even my ex is convinced you’ve read my book. Which doesn't mean you have, which is the nature of the query I'm putting to you personally as a question right now. Did you? Are you consciously under the influence, or is all this purely "coincidental" on your part? (Given we're going to get to analysis of Entering Heaven Alive.) And if so, what's your interest in it and do you have enough of a stake to react as if it matters to establish a the existence and nature of a transcendent connective consiousness operating within humanity that you're are part and parcel to (a party of), or like Bono, are you willing to just let that slide?
Bono is playing the situation the same as ever at present. It’s there, but not even my mother’s convinced, nor would it matter to her, (because he won’t do anything in terms of concrete proof like acknowledge me or meet face to face), which is the same difference everywhere else. Bono’s stealth bombed my name (without actually saying it) using Biblical referencing twice since last May; -the one in May was what caused me to respond. Then “Your Song Saved My Life” was released on the 29th anniversary of when we first encountered each other at the ZOOTV concert. (Fortunately I’d sent the first letter that landed the iBook and the public experiment (and told him about the letters I’d sent, including yours), a couple of days before that.) What I asked him was to be willing to credit having written “Book of Your Heart” about my book in his autobiography, so I might have a hope in hell of getting published. I’ve sent four letters via the U2 text line.
This is a the rabbit hole, a descent into why Bono and I are still on the outs. Which is why I like hyperlinking to my own site, it gives you the option of skipping it. I am archiving this letter there to time date when it was created, in case it matters to beat the 1st, or potentially anything else. (I've decided against passing that on, too bad.)
Rabbit Hole (Holy Shit.)
(Yes it's my catch phrase for these things. (This is the big one.) Harrowing this will be.)
"In terms of musicians/songwriting that went into the backgrounder portion of the Martin’s letter bringing him up to date, there were only four apart from himself and his band that I cited and discussed at length: Nick Cave, Bono, David Bowie, and Arcade Fire, because I could center the discussion as per Bono and David using Arcade Fire's "Relflektor", which hijacked the substance of the letter unexpectedly to such an overwhelming extent I literally called it the 'Rabbit Hole'. - Arcade Fire, “Lightning I, II” (There it is rabbit holing a second time.) This is the third sentence in Martin's letter: "Nobody’s expecting to mention that they listened to Reflektor and David Bowie for the first time in years and have it produce a rabbit hole of 16 pages....) -Serious stuff ahead." I did the same with all the hyperlinked footnotes, eight enumerated "Rabbit Hole"s.
They basically doubled your logo to start.
With the fourth U2 letter I timed it in the interest of referring it to Jordan Peterson, though due to a server crash that didn’t quite work out as hoped. (I texted Jordan Peterson’s letter to U2 in the same token, full disclosure.) Referring you to all these serves as grounding. I also told Bono that if Chris Martin wanted to meet, then I wanted to meet, that I’d tried to send him a letter, and I wished Bono was willing to furnish rather than prohibit potentialities (and that he should really reconsider), but mainly I was letting him in on the public experiment, because when I performed the public experiment with Billy Corgan twenty-two years ago, Billy was the only one who saw it. This was the first time for Bono to potentially see it, and I told him it was my way of letting him make a fully informed decision whether to do what I asked of him or not, whether to respond. Yes, so then after I “told” him I knew he had deliberately stealth bomb named me using “Eden (To Find Love)” and in addition told Bono via text about what was going on with Chris, U2 released this song with the bible story reference my name is in, with this B-side. Of course. (What Bono was really doing with “Eden” (hidden underneath philanthro-washing a chicken-hawk) was coming down on me like a ton of bricks, - “this is God talking, dumbass” (I’ve always been doing this for God, & you’ve got serious trust issues); -in Martin’s letter I predicted he’d reassume the high horse as if it was him all along.)
Steering back to you and what I’m doing here, it was a gamble on where I presumed you might go now. I am awaiting Entering Heaven Alive with perhaps the greatest weight of apprehension in a good way.
I responded to you because “Connected by Love” gave the apprehension that perhaps you really needed me. Those are apprehensions I deal with directly. (I have never been needed.) The logical outcome of delivering your letter and having no concrete reaction is that the song was wholly inspired and that was never the case, meaning it was the same as what went down with Billy. I’d already been forced to this conclusion logically because if “Connected by Love” was relating to a removed object who appeared and you did need me, you would have shown up, and I abided the natural conclusion that circumstantially that looked to definitely not be the case.
It’s not like I haven’t been flirted with in this manner in the past by individuals who knew who I was. I have been, -I was treated like a discardable object. I’m really not interested in that happening again (it’s the worst way to get your heart broken possible), but since it’s happening, I’m delighted it is, because it’s happening as part of the third wave. It’s the Transcendent relating to me; -it’s the only time it’s ever going to happen. It’s on this scale. And to have you as part of that wave possibly with a pre-existing knowledge of who I am on this earth is what binds this to me, same as Bono did with his stealth bomb naming. It is part and parcel of the Transcendent’s interest to do this, this is His deliberation in seducing me, not anyone else’s. This is even if you’re presently doing is as intentional towards me personally as Bono’s deliberate naming was (meaning Bono’s not trying to get with me by what he’s doing presently either, quite the opposite). What Bono and you are doing presently is the part that ascribes the arch-typical to me and gives it the requisite depth, for me. Being in the present is accepting the present and not demanding anything else of it. It’s inherent that I can’t. And for just the present I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, because with foreknowledge of me, (which has never happened before), this is only going to get to happen this way in one place.
I have arrived at the answer for my whole life, life’s purpose. It is singing now. I am who and what I say I am, maybe not in moniker, but in entity. I am letting you in on the real time public experiment with the musical feedback loop to show you, too. This for me is the ultimate make it or break it between whether this all remains shunted internally as my sole solitary experience inside my perception I’m given no capacity to ever relate, what was most important and essential about me (my only accomplishment, the only thing that mattered), not even to my children. If it does not descend into the real, then what is it? I don’t understand why no one’s ever been concerned that consignment to invisibility is an existential danger (or otherwise a personal sacrifice) for me (-immediate, I honestly juggle between the price exacted either way, whether internalized or externalized what’s the difference really), so why not act on the level of basic concern for my viability/survival? Why not deal on those terms? What’s wrong with giving me the concrete affirmation that would grant me my book, my own provision and protection?
You are not wasting my time to sing this (either way). (I’m not going to waste His time in other words, but I definitely do not want you to wonder if you're wasting yours, since I've waited my whole adult life for this.) Are you mining the book deliberately? I'm wondering what you are doing with this and what you’re doing it for (either way)? I'm very curious to see how this will unfold, whether Entering Heaven Alive is going to tie into the pre-written narrative or not, and if it does, what's your inspirational position in that? Did you crack the flash drive or not? If it does align, is this, to your mind, coincidental, or is it too organized, and why? Will assessment of the situation produce a recognition there’s a higher power at work and that this has value (if you’re a bright one, you’ll register this paradox is one and the same for me and dismissal of this is not really different than rejection in terms of let’s call it a personal rejection). Put another way, if the transcendent connective consciousness is in no way relevant, (whether you’re personally interested in me or not, and this couldn't be more obviously not), presuming it’s in no way relevant is like pretending the best thing that ever happened to me doesn’t exist. It's no different than pretending that I don't.
-If you don’t believe in a “higher power” (there are atheists around here too, -they don’t bother me in the sense that I was put through a demolition of faith so steep that my mindset after that in terms of dealing with the prospect of whether or not there was One was no different than Jordan Peterson’s, meaning I decided to exist and behave in the framework of still assuming there was, because I thought that existing in that integral belief would give me the best potential outcomes in terms of developing my own existence anyhow; -you can’t really be down on atheists when this tact is in and of itself a tacit admission you have no surety whether or not there’s a God); -so, if you don’t believe, register the import of what you see with your own eyes and own deduction because this experiment is real in the sense this is observably, collectively happening in the inspirational sense (even perhaps consciously, apparently, in a rarified few), – which makes me the queen of the bees, if you’re an atheist.
It makes just meeting the biggest thing to happen in the world/universe either way. It’s the biggest thing in the universe to me.
Please act on this by being willing to acknowledge what's observable with you in the real world. Begging is pointless.
I know there’s a tour and everything else in between. I’m extremely patient. I dealt with consummation taking twenty-seven years to happen. It was worth it.
Don’t be a stranger.
Bye now.
PS: broader tenets are free, meaning if you read (what I'm sure you don't have the time to), they're bloody obvious.
PPS: This is the online back up of your letter, which will receive update entries as they arrive.